Poor Jeb Bush Had To Explain That He Wasn't "Wandering" Around Boston, He Was Just Walking To His Hotel

(Globe) — Jeb Bush wants to set the record straight: he wasn’t “wandering” around the streets of Boston this week — he was just coming back from a meal, and headed for his hotel. After an excitable Emerson College student, Benjamin Bailey, posted a lengthy tale about running into Bush on Boylston Street Tuesday night, under cover of darkness, the former Republican presidential candidate said in an e-mail to the Globe that he was merely going from Point A to Point B, not taking a leisurely summer stroll in solitude. “I wasn’t wandering,” Bush said, adding a smiley-face emoticon to his response. “I was walking back from dinner to my hotel when I met the young guy.” Bush signed the e-mail, “Onward, Jeb.”

I like Jeb Bush a lot. He’s not exactly well-spoken, he’s kinda dorky, but he seems like a nice guy and if he didn’t get stuffed in a locker by Donald Trump I’d absolutely vote for him over Hillary. But man, poor fucking guy. You really have to feel for him here. Anyone sees me or you walking down the street and the story is, “Hey you’ll never guess who I saw last night? I saw ___.” No internet rumors that you’re a lost soul, fumbling around in the night. No one immediately assuming you’re a broken man, walking with his thoughts and trying to get it together. People wouldn’t say you were “wandering,” as if you’ve been searching for something, anything since you’d been bullied by Donald Trump on national television. They’d just say the saw you. Not with Jeb, though. See him doing something as simple as walking from dinner to his hotel and the guy’s gotta be soul-searching. Keep fighting, my man. You’ll come back from this. Onward, Jeb.

PS – If I’m being honest, he does look a little “wandery” in that first picture. Probably just had a few glasses of wine at dinner.